Disenfranchised Grief
While grief is a normal response to loss, it is difficult to deal with in normal circumstances and becomes more difficult to deal with in situations where the grief is unacknowledged or unsupported- which is known as disenfranchised grief. The definition of disenfranchised grief set forth by Kenneth Doka is “the grief that people experience from a loss that is not, or cannot be, openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported” (2002, p. 160); it may also occur in situations where an individual is seen as being unable to grieve or needing protection from grief (this is typically seen with the very young, the very old, and the mentally ill).
Some general examples of situations where disenfranchised grief may occur include grief over job loss/changes, loss of friendship, loss of a pet, loss of health, loss of an ability, loss of a socially unacceptable relationship, and death due to socially unacceptable situations (Pillai-Friedman & Ashline, p. 437). More specific examples of these situations include:
Loss after a miscarriage;
Physical changes after cancer treatment;
Ending of an adolescent relationship;
Change in a relationship due to illness;
Death of a paramour;
Death of a former spouse
In all of these cases, the grief can be due to the fact that the loss is not acknowledged and/or because the individual is not able to participate in rituals surrounding that loss. The inability to take part in death rituals can cause disenfranchised grief because, for many, these rituals (in Western culture think viewings, memorials, etc.) are affirming and provide some amount of closure (Romanoff & Terenzio, 1998, p. 698). For non-death related losses, there often aren’t typical rituals associated with them which can make getting closure difficult. In addition to that, non-death related losses are not always acknowledged as a true loss, so the individual may not believe that they can or should feel the way they do.
So how can this apply to your life? It depends. We obviously cannot know someone is grieving or why they are if they don’t talk about it, which may be the case with some of these losses (especially any that are seen as taboo in society). However, if someone in your life is open with you about their grief, the most helpful thing you can do is listen. In disenfranchised grief, social support and acknowledgment are the key missing elements (Lenhardt, 1997), which means that validation is one of the most important things that we can do for the grieving in these cases. Even if you don’t fully understand why they are grieving, you can listen and provide support which can help them move through their grief in a healthy way.
References
Doka, K. (2002). Disenfranchised Grief. In Kenneth J. Doka (Ed.), Living with Grief: Loss in Later Life (pp. 159-168). Washington, D.C.: The Hospice Foundation of America.
Lenhardt, A. M. C. (1997). Grieving disenfranchised losses: Background and strategies for counselors. Journal of Humanistic Education & Development, 35(4), 208. https://doi-org.lopesalum.idm.oclc.org/10.1002/j.2164-4683.1997.tb00371.x
Pillai-Friedman, S., & Ashline, J. L. (n.d). Women, breast cancer survivorship, sexual losses, and disenfranchised grief - a treatment model for clinicians. Sexual And Relationship Therapy, 29(4), 436-453.
Romanoff, B., & Terenzio, M. (1998). Rituals and the grieving process. Death Studies, 22(8), 697-711.
Additional Reading
Cordaro, M. (2012). Pet Loss and Disenfranchised Grief: Implications for Mental Health Counseling Practice. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 34(4), 283–294. https://doi-org.lopesalum.idm.oclc.org/10.17744/mehc.34.4.41q0248450t98072
Lathrop, D. (2017). Disenfranchised Grief and Physician Burnout. Annals of Family Medicine, 15(4), 375–378. https://doi-org.lopesalum.idm.oclc.org/10.1370/afm.2074
Mitchell, M. B. (2018). “No One Acknowledged My Loss and Hurt”: Non-death Loss, Grief, and Trauma in Foster Care. Child & Adolescent Social Work Journal, 35(1), 1–9. https://doi-org.lopesalum.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10560-017-0502-8
Tullis, J. A. (2017). Death of an Ex-Spouse: Lessons in Family Communication about Disenfranchised Grief. Behavioral Sciences (2076-328X), 7(2), bs7020016. https://doi-org.lopesalum.idm.oclc.org/10.3390/bs7020016